Just need to let it out


New Member
Hi Dachshund forum members.

I'm a first time visitor and I was delighted to find this section in the website. My partner and I have suffered a tragic loss and I need to vent my feelings to people who understand. I also have a few moral conflicts which I would like to receive some opinions on. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read our story.

Our little black/tan, short haired miniature dachshund was just 8 months old. I was at work when I got the call that she was missing.

She had previously escaped the yard and we discovered that she was a little ninja - jumping the front gate at least four times her height!

I left work to continue the search with my partner and we searched the neighborhood from midday till 9pm. Why had no-one found her and called? she has our number on the collar and she is micro chipped. I thought by 6pm everyone was home from work and would have seen her in their yard?

I reluctantly and secretly drove the main roads surrounding our area. Hoping that logic would not ring true. It didn't.

We searched the parks with flashlights and yelled her name so loud the neighborhood stirred. I found myself risking injury as I climbed through restricted construction sites searching for a hiding pup.

We struggled to sleep that night and although I tried so hard to stay positive I only imagined the worst as a storm rolled in. It was the coldest night of our year thus far. The wind was tremendous and the rain was torrential. I couldn't bear the thought of our little dachshund missing, hiding, lost somewhere and so cold.

4am: my girlfriend rustled me and suggested we should check to see if our pup had wandered home. We slumped downstairs, I was lacking faith. We checked everywhere - No sign. I decided we should get an hours sleep before waking at sunrise to resume the search.


6 am and my partners sister came over. We printed hundreds of pamphlets, posters and did a letter drop and poster hang up in the local shops and bus stops. I couldn't hold it together anymore. I was trying to be strong for my partner but at this stage I thought she had been stolen. I made a police report and lost it.

10am and we met back home for a coffee and to mark off areas on the map we had searched. My housemate came upstairs with watery eyes and told me "You have to see something"... No. No.. no. The internal collision of knowledge and denial had a head on crash that almost took out my entire body.

The neighbour had spotted our little pup passed away, hidden from sight in the bushes near the fence line. My coffee dropped and my heart thumped like a thousand bulls. I rushed over and picked her up but it was too late. "She'll be stiff" the neighbour said. But she wasn't. She was still soft. Cold, and wet. I was speechless. I laid her out on the grass, knelled beside her. "Im so sorry.." was the shocked neighbour, whom is an animal lover and long time dog owner.

My partner came outside screaming and literally collapsed beside me. Her dad had just arrived to take his daughter into the city. The sister was in tears. I hadn't cried in five years and it felt like five years worth of tears. It was horrific.


A cemetery owner from toowoomba drove out 3 hours to pick up our deceased dog. Rigor Mortis had kicked in and she was stiff as a bone. We had placed her around candles and wrapped her in a towel. It didn't feel real. By far the most excruciating wound I have ever felt in my entire life crippled my heart as I handed over our deceased puppy to the crematorium owner. The van door slammed shut simultaneously with my grief as tremendous anger set in. Why on earth did I not thoroughly check the garden?

Our poor little girl would have been suffering in silence in the yard whilst we frantically searched the neighbourhood. Through rain, wind and freezing temperatures. The thought still tears me to pieces.

Day 2

By far the most upsetting thought was - How? She had small hair patches missing from her back leg and my immediate thoughts are that she was bitten by a snake or a spider. Google searches somewhat confirmed this hypothesis, although the truth could never really be known. It would make sense - right? A red back commonly resides in garden areas around dead trees. A bite causes paralyses, muscle spasms and the loss of sense of direction.

Rigor Mortis, from light research, I am aware takes anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 hours to set in. Our poor girl was soft when I picked her up - had she just passed away? Had she suffered all night? Shockingly, was my partners unexplained desire to search for her at 4am meant to mean something? was this the time? It still kills me.

Day 3
I can only move forward from this point. Everything reminds me of her. She was lost at such a young age. No health conditions. Well loved. We didn't deserve this. For christ's sake - there are people out there that torture their dogs.

We removed all of our posters. Do not want to socialise out of fear of conversation. Have told very little of our peers, whom are still under the impression from social media that have 'lost' her. I called the police to cancel the report. The f*(#* police officers name was the same as our pups'.


I want another Dachshund. Not now, not in this house - but sometime. When is it too soon? I will never replace our pup. She was, incredible. Fantastic dog. Quirky, passionate, so so loyal, protective, energetic, lovable - adorable. She was responsible for lifting my relationship with my partner to a whole new level.
Will another dachshund be like our lost one? Is it wrong to attain a dog of the same breed and colour? I have no intention of replacing our lost one I just absolutely love the breed & colour. I miss the companionship and loyalty. I have heard the black and tan ones are all energetic?

May our poor pup rest in peace and if I could say one last thing it's that I loved her. I'm so sorry we didn't check the yard thoroughly. I will hold this regret for the rest of my life.


For anyone reading - Please.. Please make sure your yard is free of poisonous spiders. It is somewhat inevitable in Australia but since this occurrence we have taken precautionary measures to ensure our house mate's dog will never find himself in the bushes.

Thank you to anyone who read this. Even if no-one does, it feels great to get this off my chest.

Finally. Are we bad owners? I'm afraid society will see us this way. We loved our dog like nothing else. She was too young.

I sleep with a part of her favorite toy under my pillow.


New Member
So sorry for your loss, it is one of the hardest things in life to learn to live with these tragedies that happen in our lives. Best wishes for you and your family.


New Member
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can feel your heart ache in your post.
Maybe at some point you might find a rescue in your area that has lost their home and needs a new family. There is something very consoling about taking in an adult that is homeless, and they seem to know that you have given them a second chance. I hope that's in your future.

Sending you and your partner a hug today. If you wish to post some pics of your beautiful girl, we would love to see them.


New Member
I am so sorry ;( There is never a 'too soon' as long as you feel it is right. I am a firm believer in adoption and that there is another waiting out there for you. Good luck


When bad things happen we can spend hours trying to figure out why so we can make some sort of sense of the tragedy. But the truth is we cannot and will not ever be able to prevent many of these very sad events, bad things just happen and often to good people. It sounds as though you loved your pup very much and no dog could possibly ask for anything more.

I don't think you can ever replace a dog you have lost but that doesn't mean you can't love another and there are plenty of dogs that would be lucky to have such a caring home.

There really is no right or wrong time. Only you can decide when it will be right for you and your family and it really doesn't matter what any one else thinks, just do what feels right for you.