I'll miss my little buddy

[lael]

My little tough guy, Oscar, died just last Friday. It was a beautiful sunshiny day. We had wind and rain all week, and then on Friday, the day he died, the sun came out for the entire day. I let him soak up the rays since it was warm 60 degrees outside. I watched him lie in the sun and feel comfort now that he was able to be outside the day he died. Friday was the only day it was sunshine then on Saturday the rain returned for another week of rainstorms. I can’t believe how the sun came out for only one day, in this rainy city, the last day of his lovely little life.

I am so heartbroken. Oscar died 1 day before his 10th birthday due to complications of anemia. I cannot believe he is gone. He loved my family unconditionally. Oh…. was he a cuddle bug. I cannot sleep, can’t eat, and can’t stop crying. My head hurts from crying. We miss him terribly.
We had to leave our house for the entire weekend; everywhere I looked I was reminded of him. When I dropped a piece of food in the kitchen I had to stop myself from calling out his name. When I saw his favorite squeaky toy, I lost it. When I got up in the morning, things were different. I kept on waiting to hear his little collar jingle because he was sneaking up to cuddle with me and wag his tail, wanting to go outside and be fed. Our home is so different now, without the sound of his little paws tapping on the hardwood floor following us everywhere we went. His favorite thing to do was to jump onto your lap and snuggle, or jump up on our beds to go to sleep next to us. He was my weekend hiking partner. Just my buddy and I would head up to the mountain and hike for a few hours. He loved those walks. Oscar was sick for a month, but he kept on toughing it out and pulling through. There were many days he would try and be happy and playful, but there were also days he could barely get out of bed. I have not been able to go on our weekend hikes without him, it’s not the same.

Oscar fought so hard, but soon his anemia got the best of him and he wasn't responding to his medication. Friday, the vet told us that we needed to put him down because he was fading fast and wouldn't make it another day. I went to get my oldest daughter from school and we took Oscar home from the vet and to say our goodbyes as we all kissed him and cried. He tried to stay so strong for us. We returned to the vet’s office and stroked his little forehead, gave him kisses on his forehead and watched him take his very last breath. He died with his eyes opened, looking directly into our eyes and I saw his soul leave his body.
As we left the vet’s office holding his favorite comfy bed, crying our eyes out, I happened to look across the street and saw a puppy that looked exactly like Oscar (same kind of dog). I took that as a sign from God that he was going to be just fine.

Dear, Oscar (aka Buster Brown)
Goodbye baby boy, I’ll always love you and pray that you are in doggy Heaven, off leash, running around in the sunshine, happy. If God sends your soul back to earth, I pray that you go to the most loving home and your new family will give you so much love, which you deserve. Lots of kisses on your forehead buddy…. please know how much I love and miss you. Mama

 

[crystalclear1027]

I am so sorry for your loss!! I can feel your pain and sadness, he will be just fine, I believe in it strongly. I was in this situation a year and a half ago with my little boy. I hope you have a special dream like I had about him letting you know he is ok. It really helped me cope with the loss.

 

[lael]

thank you

I am so sorry for your loss!! I can feel your pain and sadness, he will be just fine, I believe in it strongly. I was in this situation a year and a half ago with my little boy. I hope you have a special dream like I had about him letting you know he is ok. It really helped me cope with the loss.

Thanks for your reply. I hope I have a dream about him soon. I have had a few things happen, like signs, to let me know he is just fine. A dream would be wonderful. I hope we get to see our little furry family some day again. xx

 

[crystalclear1027]

I hope you do to!! Another thing I do every night I go to bed is tell him "don' t forget to come see me tonight" it finally happened and it made so happy.

 

[Admin]

I am so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine how you feel. You Oscar looks like my Milo. Reading your post brought a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for sharing.

He is looking down at you saying Momma I am ok. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful life and loving me. I will see you soon at the bridge. I will wait for you.

 

[lael]

thanks for responding

I am so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine how you feel. You Oscar looks like my Milo. Reading your post brought a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for sharing.

He is looking down at you saying Momma I am ok. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful life and loving me. I will see you soon at the bridge. I will wait for you.

Thank you for your message. Last night was the first night I have slept in 5 days. I know I will heal in time. I'm actually starting to think about him and smile instead of cry. I go through different emotions throughout the day. I think of the funny things he did. Boy, was he a crack up. Wish he had more time with our family but life isn't always fair. Some day we'll adopt and save another shelter dog (just like Oscar). Who would of thought a little dog that some family gave up after raising him from a puppy, gave up as a senior....would make our family so happy. We adopted him at 8 years old and he was a handful, but such a personality he had.

 

[garyd]

I read your post this morning, but couldn't respond through the tears. My little guys are young and I know I'll be crushed when I lose them, I will never forget losing my first one at 15 over 20 years ago. My heart goes out to you. I encourage you to embrace the memories.

 

[GJBain]

First I want to say sorry for your loss, I know exactly how you feel. I have posted my story here before but here it is again:

I lost my girl, Samantha, 9 months ago. My wife took her in. I just could not go. She was my girl. My whole life actually. She was 17 years and 3 weeks old. Born 5/13/96, died 6/3/13. She was a tough tough dog. She was deaf for probably 3-1/2 years. Almost blind the last 6 months. Had real bad arthritis at the end and had trouble walking. The last few days she hardly was eating so we knew the end was near. This dog keep in mind had her first seizure at 3 years old and was on phenobarbital since 3 years old. Never changed her personality at all. I made a point to sit with her every night for her entire life as I knew she would not live forever and I wanted to get the most out of being with her. I had a Dachshund (Samantha) as a kid and to this day I still miss her very much. Do not take a single day for granted with these great dogs. That is how I look at it. On my girls last day we went outside and sat on the stoop together. I held her and she fell asleep in my arms. I so much did not want her to wake up. I wanted her to go naturally in my arms but it was not to be. She woke up and I took her over into the grass and let her sit in the grass, she loved sitting in her grass. I told her it is her grass forever. It is her house. She is the only dog to live in this house as I built it brand new. I told her it was her house forever. We went inside and I got her to eat a tiny bit of bologna. We rarely gave her people food. Keep in mind she had not eaten in well over a day. I then gave her a bath and held her until my wife came and took her. I miss her. So much so I have trouble thinking about ever getting another dog. I called her my little monkey. And when we sat everyday I told her "I gotchya little monkey" She is cremated now and on her urn it says "Little monkey I gotchya forever." And I do!

Since then we have gotten another Dachshund. Her name is Brandy. It was the same here as you say where the house was not the same without her.

I miss my two Samantha's every day. I know I will see them in heaven. I am possitive of that. Right now I know that god has taken them in and they are his own personal dogs. I will see them someday soon.

 

[lael]

thanks for sharing

First I want to say sorry for your loss, I know exactly how you feel. I have posted my story here before but here it is again:

I lost my girl, Samantha, 9 months ago. My wife took her in. I just could not go. She was my girl. My whole life actually. She was 17 years and 3 weeks old. Born 5/13/96, died 6/3/13. She was a tough tough dog. She was deaf for probably 3-1/2 years. Almost blind the last 6 months. Had real bad arthritis at the end and had trouble walking. The last few days she hardly was eating so we knew the end was near. This dog keep in mind had her first seizure at 3 years old and was on phenobarbital since 3 years old. Never changed her personality at all. I made a point to sit with her every night for her entire life as I knew she would not live forever and I wanted to get the most out of being with her. I had a Dachshund (Samantha) as a kid and to this day I still miss her very much. Do not take a single day for granted with these great dogs. That is how I look at it. On my girls last day we went outside and sat on the stoop together. I held her and she fell asleep in my arms. I so much did not want her to wake up. I wanted her to go naturally in my arms but it was not to be. She woke up and I took her over into the grass and let her sit in the grass, she loved sitting in her grass. I told her it is her grass forever. It is her house. She is the only dog to live in this house as I built it brand new. I told her it was her house forever. We went inside and I got her to eat a tiny bit of bologna. We rarely gave her people food. Keep in mind she had not eaten in well over a day. I then gave her a bath and held her until my wife came and took her. I miss her. So much so I have trouble thinking about ever getting another dog. I called her my little monkey. And when we sat everyday I told her "I gotchya little monkey" She is cremated now and on her urn it says "Little monkey I gotchya forever." And I do!

Since then we have gotten another Dachshund. Her name is Brandy. It was the same here as you say where the house was not the same without her.

I miss my two Samantha's every day. I know I will see them in heaven. I am possitive of that. Right now I know that god has taken them in and they are his own personal dogs. I will see them someday soon.

Thank you for sharing that lovely post. Anyone can see the love you had for her. I read with tears in my eyes but laughed when I got to the part about 'gotchya little monkey'. Our pets are our children. She was lucky to have such a loving home. I'm glad you were able to move on with another doggie. I've been thinking about volunteering for a dog rescue non profit to help with healing. Even this morning, the one week anniversary of our dog's death, I got up...got some coffee....went to get on the computer and I started to call for our dog while crying. It's still so fresh. Every morning it was just him and I before my children got up. We would hang out for several hours. I'd make my coffee and give him his food, then let him outside. We'd go get on the laptop and he would snuggle up right under my arm. His head would usually end up directly over my heart or in between my arm and body. I'd be typing away, but would always look over at his sleeping peaceful face then pet him and say 'hi buddy'....and his big brown eyes would open up like he was saying 'hi' back. Oh was he the best little snuggler. I hope in time we will get another dog.

I like you, am still sad about the first dog I had. I got a Beagle puppy when I just turned 24. We lived on the East Coast and then I moved back to the West Coast. It was just her and I for many many years. She was my first baby. We were always together. Then I met my husband and we had two children. When my second child was born, my Beagle died about 3 months later. I wasn't able to say goodbye and it still hurts when I think of her. Anytime I think of her 5 years later, I shed tears. It's so hard to lose a pet but one day we'll adopt again, just like we adopted little Oscar. Take care and thanks for your story. I hope you are finding peace and joy with your new little dog.

 

[lael]

thank you

I read your post this morning, but couldn't respond through the tears. My little guys are young and I know I'll be crushed when I lose them, I will never forget losing my first one at 15 over 20 years ago. My heart goes out to you. I encourage you to embrace the memories.

Thank you. There are good days and bad days. I laugh and cry at the same time. Memories are all around us. I still cannot believe he is gone. It feels like he has been gone an eternity for the amount of tears I have shed, but today is the one week anniversary of his death. We will honor it in some way. I feel the pain going away, it's not as present as the first days, but it still lingers. I can at least think of him and smile now.

Attached is a picture that makes me laugh. Oscar got a toy this last Christmas and he was so excited for his new little squeaky toy that he brought the toy plus the Christmas bag ....back to his bed. Boy, did he love those furry squeaky toys.

 

[GJBain]

Lael, one thing I did right after Samantha died was take our digital picture frame and put a bunch of pictures of her on it. It has just pictures of her. About 30 of them starting at when she was a puppy up to days before she had to leave us. I look at it every day. It helps me because I still get to see her every day. Maybe something for you to try too.